Monday, January 11, 2010

This is WAR

Bzzzzzzzzzz!...is the sound in my ear as I wake up at 3 am. Swat the mosquito away. Pull the covers over my head. Pull my t-shirt over my face...anything to get the nasty, bloodsucking monster away from my apparently sugary sweet blood. But to no avail. I wake up and put in my contacts only to discover six quarter-sized, swollen bites on my face (one SMACK dab in the center of my forehead), five dime sized (but doubly protruding) bites on my neck, and about five additional bites spread over my arms and legs.


The moral of this story? Don't wear shorts and a t-shirt to bed in Taiwan.

However, the remedy is equally unexpected and effective: meat tenderizer and water. I have been wetting down each bite and rubbing a generous amount of meat tenderizer all over each bite, which somehow shrinks them down overnight. The AC is now on full blast (brrrrr!) to eliminate humidity. I have DEET lotion all over my face (which I'm sure is GREAT for eliminating blackheads and avoiding carcinogens!). I'm wearing pants, socks, gloves, a hooded sweatshirt, and a scarf to bed.

I'm armed with bug killing spray to attack impostors.

Am I inhaling my weight in bug killing chemicals as I lay in this tiny, airtight room? Probably.

Goodnight, everyone.

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